Asian Matchmaker
Asian Matchmaker 紅娘 for SF, NYC and LA
You’ve built the career, the reputation, the life. The one thing the apps keep getting wrong is understanding you. AWM Love is a bespoke Asian matchmaking practice service for accomplished professionals who don’t want more options, they want the right one, their true partner in life. I’m Cassindy Chao, a third generation Chinese matchmaker (紅娘) and former Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan banker, and we make introductions personally, do our screening and interviews personally and make date introductions one thoughtful match at a time.
I am Cassindy Chao, a third generation Chinese matchmaker (紅娘), and I run AWM Love, an Asian matchmaking practice in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York.
I make personal, screened introductions for accomplished professionals. No public profiles, no swiping, no algorithm. Every person I introduce is someone I have spoken with myself.
Before matchmaking I was an investment banker at Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan. My mother and grandmother did this work before me.
My clients are Asian and Asian American professionals, and many of my matches are cross cultural. I work with people of every background. The specialism is fluency rather than restriction: I understand how family expectations shape the way people date, without anyone having to explain it first.
The Asian Matchmaker 紅娘 lineage
I spent five summers of my childhood at my grandfather's home in Taipei. My relatives told stories there about my mother, who used to host "gaze at the moon" parties to bring young singles together. That is how I learned this work. Nobody called it that at the time.
A 紅娘 is not a broker. The word means the red lady, after a character in a thirteenth century play who brings two lovers together against everything arranged to keep them apart. There is an older idea behind it too, that everyone is born with an invisible red thread connecting them to the person they are meant to find. Our work is to find that thread. What the tradition takes seriously is not what modern dating takes seriously.
I take family seriously. My parents were immigrants and held certain values close, frugality and hard work above all. Those values keep evolving in my generation into something that also makes room for self-care and boundaries. My parents passed on their strengths and their weaknesses, as every family does, and we are all still growing. There are no wrong answers here. But the people you love will be in the room for the rest of your life, which is why I ask about them early.
I take character seriously, ahead of credentials. A resume tells you what someone has achieved. It tells you almost nothing about how they behave when something goes wrong.
And I take the long view. The question is not whether two people enjoy an evening. It is whether they will still be choosing each other in thirty years.
I am the third generation. The tools have changed completely and the work has not. It is still sitting across from someone, listening carefully, and understanding what they actually need rather than what they first say they want.
What makes Asian Matchmaking Different
As an Asian-American woman, this market is not a check-box or choice - This is my culture.
Family is very important in these matches. Many of my clients think about their partner interacting with their parents or how their own parent’s opinions matter. I understand this, having lived it myself too. Culture matters too - how we enjoy food together even! But also growing up in the united states or addressing stereotypes, these are all very unique to our culture.
Generational difference matters too. A first-generation client and a second-generation client can look identical on paper and want entirely different lives. I ask about that directly, because guessing wrong wastes a year.
And cross-cultural matching takes real fluency. Pairing someone who grew up between two cultures with someone who grew up in one requires understanding what will and will not translate — at the third date and at the family dinner two years later. I watch for that closely, and it is the most common reason a promising match doesn't succeed.
Where my matches come from
This is the question everyone should ask a matchmaker, and almost nobody does.
The honest answer is that my network was built over decades rather than bought, and it is concentrated in exactly the group my clients are looking for: highly educated, ambitious, accomplished professionals.
Alumni networks. Not only universities. I am an alumna of Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan and those networks are still active for me. I am Co-President of the Wellesley College Asian Alumnae Alliance. I am also a Marshall Memorial Fellow, one of a selected group of leaders across the United States and Europe.
Events. I have hosted, co-hosted or spoken at a great many. Ivy League socials in San Francisco, New York and Hong Kong. Two speaking engagements at the Harvard Club of New York. Private mixers. Events with the National Association of Asian American Professionals. Mahjong evenings with Wellesley, MIT, Purdue and Carnegie Mellon, and a weekly Bay Area mahjong group. Several events with Coffee Meets Bagel. I speak publicly on relationships and connection, and people find me that way too.
Community. My volunteer work with Asian Health Services and the New York Asian Film Festival, the creator community, and media appearances including NBC News Daily, Business Insider and NewsNation. These bring me people who would never post a dating profile.
I am not opening LinkedIn after you sign. The network already exists. That is what you are paying for.
Who I work with
I work with intentional people. People who are serious about finding the right partner while they build their lives, their families and their communities.
My clients are industry leaders, celebrities, founders, engineers, partners, physicians, attorneys, investors and executives. Many are first or second generation, Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese and Indian, carrying family expectations alongside demanding careers. Some of their names you would recognize, and you will never hear them from me.
Not all of my clients are Asian. A number are people whose lives already cross cultures. They have lived or worked in Asia, their careers are international, or their families already span more than one country. They want a partner who understands that world. Those are some of the most rewarding introductions I make.
How the process works
This is an in depth and very personal process as we ask for real time and commitment. Here is what happens.
You apply. You complete a short application and tell me why you are interested in matchmaking. I review this carefully and I work with only a small number of clients at any one time. That is intentional as this only works if I can give each search my full attention.
Our team reaches out to schedule a proper conversation, so I can understand who you are and what you are actually looking for and that we have line of sight to success for you and your dating goals. We are specialized.
We agree to work together. Once the contract is finalised, the enjoyable part begins for you and the serious work begins for us.
We do a deep dive. It goes well beyond the surface, and it is the foundation for everything that follows. Who you want to have by your side and why. How do you want to feel when you are with your future partner. What are your own life goals, your concerns, how you want to be seen and loved.
You have my complete attention. We go through your answers and build the profile of the person you are looking for, from physical attributes and personality to religion, ethnic identity, values and passions. We talk about wishes and wants, about what you must have, and about what you will not compromise on.
We talk about how you like to date, not every date is a coffee date but could be a walk with your dog, or visiting your favorite noodle shop or ice cream parlor. It's important that our clients feel confident when dating.
We share profiles and we review why we are choosing them for you. You decide who you want to meet (or not) and we learn. Then dates begin. We arrange most dates and you just need to show up and enjoy. Often before a date we will make a fun introduction that sometimes even gives a prompt so that when you show up - there's already some anticipation and curiosity built into it.
Then before your date we will also go back to your dates and ask any questions that you might have - it could be how many children do they want, or what life stage or how they handle difficult conversations. We get the tougher answers out of the way so you can just focus on chemistry and curiosity on your date!
Every introduction comes to you personally. And we refine the search as we learn more. It's simple yet not so simple. We bring our own years of perspective as a married (over 28 years) with three grown adults, when we interview candidates on your behalf.
Along the way I have resources to draw on when you want them. Photo shoots, personal styling, date curation, and when it helps, practice dates. Not everyone needs these. They are there for the people who do.
Cities served
I work primarily in three markets: San Francisco and the Bay Area, Los Angeles, and New York City. My network now extends well beyond them with happy clients in Boston, Washington DC, San Diego, Hong Kong, Taiwan and more — also in our global economy - a meaningful number of my matches involve someone who was open to relocating.
What it costs
Bespoke VIP matchmaking engagements run $45,000 to $200,000. Where a search sits in that range depends on how focused and how fast it needs to be. A search running across two or more of my cities, San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York, sits at the upper end, because it is effectively three searches held to one standard.
For context: agencies typically run $10,000–$25,000, but you are buying a process and a shared database. Elite matchmakers running truly exclusive searches often start at $75,000. I sit in between, and I personally run every search.
Here is the price frame I give clients. Think of it as roughly nine months of your rent or mortgage. You will spend that on where you live without a second thought. Who you live it with is the larger decision.
And I will say this plainly: if you don't believe I'm the person who can find someone special for you, don't hire me. This only works when there is real fit and real care on both sides. That is what the first call is for, and it goes both ways.
Client story
One of my clients is very dear to me. She is Chinese American, highly educated, born here, and at one point she stepped back from her career to care for her parents.
Some people will never understand that choice. Our community understands it immediately. She is an eldest daughter.
That was the brief. Not an industry, not a height. I needed someone who would read that decision as a strength rather than a gap on a resume.
He came to me as a referral from the Associate Board of the New York Asian Film Festival, where I serve. He has lived it himself. He spent years working out where his own career ended and his family obligations began, and he came to his own answer.
They are both active in the community and take social responsibility seriously. Now they are recalibrating together, holding family close while making room for their own happiness.
I cannot wait to see what they do together.
A private search led personally by Cassindy, not an account manager. Every introduction is chosen for your life, values and long-term goals.
Every match is screened and interviewed before it reaches you, so your time goes to people with real potential.
Steady, culturally fluent guidance from a third-generation Asian matchmaker who stays close throughout the process.
FAQs
Ready for a real introduction?
If your result makes you curious about what a personal introduction feels like, let’s talk. The first call is free — and it might be the most important conversation you have this year.
