From Goldman Sachs to Matchmaking

Every year around “partner” season, I think about the hundreds of brilliant, driven people waiting to hear if they would get the “golden ticket” they’ve worked for year-in, year-out for a decade or more. It brings me right back to my own years at Goldman Sachs when my colleagues and I would wonder who'd make partner next.

After almost a decade in finance at Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan, my path took a different turn, a wonderful turn actually, and I became a professional matchmaker.  Now I get to hand out what I think is the ultimate golden ticket: a fulfilling, lasting relationship. People are often surprised by the pivot.  Did you know - bankers and matchmakers have far more in common than you'd think.

Bankers and matchmakers: more alike than you'd think

Instead of figuring out how to make the numbers work and calculating risks and returns, I now spend my days figuring out how people work—how two people can work together, manage differences, and ultimately bring out the best in each other.

●      Client service comes first. In banking, it was always about the client—protecting them, helping them succeed. Matchmaking is no different. My job is to protect my client, support their journey, and streamline a process that can otherwise feel overwhelming. And when they find love that lasts, they become my best references.

●      Work with the best people—and don't settle. At Goldman, clients were blue-chip and carefully vetted. Curating clients matters just as much in matchmaking. I take on clients who are a genuine fit for how I work and ready to commit—and I'm willing to walk away when the fit isn't there. Just as there are many banks, there are many matchmakers.  Finding the right fit is critical for everyone.

●      Collaboration is the secret. Goldman employees had a reputation for being aggressive, but inside, the team camaraderie was remarkable and priceless. It's the same with my fellow matchmakers—we deliberate, we agonize, we pool our networks to help a client. On my team at Ancient Wisdom Modern Love, we delight in our client’s success and making great introductions for them.

●      It's a process. In banking, you constantly refine your forecasts, reassess risk, analyze changing market conditions all with the goal of delivering the best returns. Matchmaking works the same way. The more I learn about a client and as we gather metrics and the more they learn about themselves and who sparks joy for them —the better the matches become.

Brains and brand aren't enough

I learned a few hard lessons during my finance career. Goldman has had its own humbling stretches—earnings drops, star bankers leaving, a consumer business that struggled despite the celebrated name. As the Economist once put it, Goldman thought that 'brains and brand were enough.' It wasn't. It became clear that a great name couldn't paper over an offering that didn't meet real needs.

The same is true in dating. Many accomplished people assume their résumé—schools, titles, awards—should be enough to “win” at love. It isn't. But a pedigree doesn't build a partnership. What actually sustains a relationship isn’t on a CV: empathy, communication, trust, and patience. The most impressive person on paper isn't always the one who can build a life with you.  That is so important to know – you’re building a life together and life is full of adventures.

The best returns take time

If there's one throughline from Wall Street to matchmaking, it's this: what lasts is built intentionally, over time. Big deals take time to put together. Exceptional portfolios are curated strategically, not magically made.  And great partnerships are the result of hundreds of intentional choices that compound over time. 

If you want your relationship to pay dividends you need to make smart choices up front and continue to invest and adjust over time. That's as true in love as it is in markets.

Read: Why Dating Apps Don’t Work for Achievers